I invite you to join an english speaking open no-cost online empathy and practice group. We meet on skype or zoom, every Tuesday 6:30 pm UTC, starting again on September 5th, 2017. If you are interested, please let me know: onlinegroup@EvaEbenhoeh.de
See some personal insights from earlier calls below.
I realized something a few days ago, and maybe this is interesting for others, too. For a year-and-a-half now I’ve been pretty active in a local NVC non-profit, organizing events and community building. We have beginnings of conflict and talking about and reflecting about this I realized the following: Here in Germany it is safe to assume that most NVC practitioners learn mainly in workshops. As trainers in workshops we usually do not show up with everything that is alive in us, because our focus is on creating an NVC learning experience for participants.
I learned something today about the word “acceptance”. It has a strange connotation for me, like: I don’t like it, but I accept it. And what we really want is unconditional love.
Ok. Here’s the thing. Sometimes I get angry and talk louder. Less than wonderful for others.
You know how needs come in layers? My own needs path looked somewhat like this: First, I soo needed appreciation - until I could see that I got plenty appreciation, summa cum laude dissertation and whatnot. I just couldn’t take it in. It didn’t land. What I really needed was self-appreciation. Secondly, a sense of self-worth. I worked a while on that need. With “a while” I mean months, until I could see that I do appreciate some of my traits and skills - and what I was really looking for was unconditional self-love.
I learned something today. I learned something about self-love in a world where a perfect body is, well, attainable. We all read Marshall’s recipe for unhappiness: Compare your achievements to Mozart’s and you are bound to become depressed. Compare your face to Whitney Houston’s or your body to Keira Knightly’s or whoever. You get my drift. What we really need is heroes and heroines who rolemodel how to love themselves without perfection.