Von Eva Ebenhöh | May 10, 2017
I learned something today about the word “acceptance”. It has a strange connotation for me, like: I don’t like it, but I accept it. And what we really want is unconditional love.
Ok. Here’s the thing. Sometimes I get angry and talk louder. Less than wonderful for others.
- First comes perception, noticing it, seeing it.
- Second understanding why.
- Third is acceptance.
- Fourth is love.
(These four phases I learned from Arnina Kashtan.)
I want to love it.
Honestly? You want to love shouting at your kids? Yes. No. Yes.
Yes, because they learn to keep calm in the face of intesity. The hard way, true, but they do learn. (Because I allow their experiences to be what they are. And I listen and empathize with their fear - erm, later that is, when I am calm again myself.)
No. I really would like to be the kind of person who does not shout at their kids, because I do think that life is more healthy and enjoyable especially for children when they don’t have to face angry parents.
And yes, if life-energy is calling me to shout, I want to follow it. I want to heal deep pain and by this strengthen my resilience so I don’t have the urge to shout so often (which I actually do, it has gotten so much better over the years).
And, yes, I want to love that there is a force inside of me that takes care of my own needs for authenticity, safety, space, whatever it is.